 The Wide Window by Lemony Snicket
A Series Of Unfortunate Events : Book the Third
The Baudelaire orphans are off to meet the third distant relative to take them in, Mrs. Anwhistle, otherwiseknown as Aunt Josephine, who lives on Lake Lachrymose and is afraid of just about everything, from the stove to the telephone to doorknobs. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire never would have guessed that they'd soon be facing a hurricane, killer leeches and a mysterious man named Captain Sham, who looks an awful lot like the revolting Count Olaf. Read more @ amazon.co.uk | amazon.com
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Count Olaf Responds :
Honestly, can't a man take up a new hobby? Sailing on Lake Lachrymose was so relaxing! It was such a pleasure that I decided to set up a small business venture, hiring out sail boats to tourists and locals alike so that they too could enjoy the wonderful calming effects of water.
Of course, it was often a lonely pursuit and I was overjoyed to meet such a lovely, vibrant woman as Mrs Josephine Anwhistle! I admit, I allowed my feelings to get the better of me and somewhat rushed in to my courtship of the charming lady. I feel certain that ours would have been a lasting union had it not been for those awful Baudelaires.
That terrible trio insisted on ruining my one chance of lasting happiness by seeking out my tortured love on a stormy night. The weather was beyond horrid and I felt compelled to set off on a daring rescue mission. What else was I to do? I can only hang my head that I was unsuccessful in my attempt to save my dearest and she perished at the teeth of the infamous Lachrymose Leeches.
To further compound my breaking heart, those Baudelaires chose to blame me! Of course, the brainless Mr Poe took there side and I felt it necessary to leave the shores of Lake Lachrymose rather than expose my shattered emotions to yet more travails. I had heard of the evocatively named Paltryville and decided to take some time there to rest and recuperate.
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