 The Reptile Room by Lemony Snicket
A Series Of Unfortunate Events : Book the Second
The Baudelaire orphans have, for the moment, escaped the clutches of Count Olaf, the evil, greedy relative who tried to steal their family fortune. Now the Baudelaires are on their way to meet another distant family member, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery, Mr. Baudelaire's cousin's wife's brother. Dr. Montgomery (or "Uncle Monty" as he likes to be called) is a kindly herpetologist (a scientist that studies snakes) who happens to have a tasty recipe for coconut cream cake. If Uncle Monty's slithery subjects aren't enough to worry about, Count Olaf makes another appearance, vowing to get the Baudelaire money he so desires. Read more @ amazon.co.uk | amazon.com
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Count Olaf Responds :
Really! You offer an overworked herpetologist some assistance and the Baudelaire Orphans have to spoil a perfectly good trip to Peru!
I had been looking forward to working with Dr Montgomery Montgomery, one of the world's leading authorities on snakes, ever since the unfortunate accident that befell his previous assistant. Poor, poor whatshisname.
I knew I had made a mistake as soon as the taxi deposited me at Monty's manor, the Baudelaire brats were there! They treated me most unkindly, telling such tales to their uncle. Honestly, what is a man to do? Obviously, I attempted to fit in as best I could. I believe my assistance to the dear, departed Dr Montgomery was of much value to him before his untimely death and I was happy to continue his work on the planned expedition to Peru. I was even willing to sacrifice myself and take the Baudelaire crybabies with me!
Alas, it was not to be. They insisted on telling that vile Mr Poe that I planned them harm -- what rot! -- and I felt it best to make a swift exit. I decided that some time spent beside a vast expanse of water would be calming to by poor, rattled nerves.
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